My Machinima

[Hawkeye]

Me and my brother Kakashi are trying to start our own Machinima about Halo2. It's Like Red vs. Blue if you've seen it.

[Hawkeye]

Here's the script for episode one. Tell me how you like it.

Episode One: Rapper’s Delight



Setting- Waterworks Map

Wilson- I’m MC Killa
And I’ll slap you silla
or I’ll be slappin’ you wid my nine-em-mila
then I’ll get yo dog and-
Raptor- Wilson!
Wilson- Sir?
Raptor- What the hell are you doin’?
Wilson- There’s a rap battle at nine o’clock and I’m getting ready. Plus the winner gets a new car. You wanna help me practice?
Raptor- That’s okay, I don’t want to embarrass you. And when you get embarrassed you know, you kind of cry a lot.
Wilson- <sniff> No I don’t.
Raptor- <sigh> Fine! Let’s see what you got.
Wilson- Okay. <clears throat>
You call him Master Chief but I call him Master Thief
He’s killed the aliens before we even get the brief <Sage walks out>
If you see him tell him that I got him
Put my magnum to his head pull the trigger- <sniper bullet passes his head>
<crouches and screams> I’m sorry!
<Sage walks up to Wilson> Sir?
<Sage points a rifle at his head> Please sir! It’ll never happen again! If I win I’ll take you for a spin in my new car.
Sage- Really! <clears throat trying to sound like Master Chief> Really?
Wilson- What’s wrong with your voice?
Sage- Cold. Now what did you say about that car?
Raptor- That’s enough Sage, I’m sure he’s already crapped himself.
Wilson- <stands up> Sage what the hell is your problem?
Sage- I found this armor that looked like Master Chief’s in the storage closet on the third floor. So I took it to see how people would treat me. You know, since he’s saved our ass so many times.
Raptor- Why didn’t you get one like mine?
Sage- Because you are the reason that he has to save us. Like the time that you wanted to storm in that alien bar.
Raptor- It was because I wanted a drink!
Sage- You already had 12 drinks! You wanted to see how many aliens you could kill drunk!
Raptor- Oh yeah. How many did I kill? 20? 30?
Wilson- You passed out two feet in front of the door. Lucky.
Raptor- Then how come when I woke up I was in the jeep’s turret and all of the aliens were dead? How did Master Chief save you then?

Sage- After you passed out Master Chief came with a jeep and a tank. He took out all of the aliens with the tank and then we set you in the turret so you would think that you killed them so you wouldn’t cry. After that Master Chief took us to a bar and bought us a round of drinks.
Raptor- <sniff> You really know how to hurt a man Sage.
Wilson- Can we get back to me? My rap battle begins in 20 minutes.
Raptor- Let’s go and school those fools.


Setting- Park Terminal Map

Announcer- Welcome to the weekly rap battle ya’ll. This week’s winner gets a brand new car! <pan to the car> Ya’ll ready? <crowd cheers> Aiight. Today we have soldier and wanna be gangsta MC Killa goin’ against the champ four dimes a penny, a.k.a. Fodap! DJ, spin that s#!t. <music starts> MC Killa, you start.
Wilson- I’m standin’ in this place
throwin’ raps in yo face
you made a big mistake
now take what you can take
you don’t mess with MC Killa
‘cause I’ll slap you silla
or I’ll be pistol whippin’ you wid my nine-em-milla
and be stompin’ on you like the giant Godzilla
Yo mama’s so old <music stops>
And her bloods ice cold
I-
Raptor- Aw, crap.
Fodap- Yo dawg. That just ain’t cool. I’m gonna clean you good. <specter cone in with the seats filled> Talking about my mama means that you wanna die!
Sage- S#!t! Let’s go!
Wilson- What about my car!
Sage- Screw the car, I wanna live!
<everyone on the specter shoots>
<Raptor goes on the second floor>
Raptor- Ya’ll better remember me saving your asses now!
<throws grenade at the specter and blows up>
<survivors attack Raptor>
<Raptor grabs shotgun and runs around killing everyone but 4dap>
Wilson!
Wilson- Is it safe?
Raptor- That depends. Do you wanna mess with me. Come and do what you want with Fodap.
Wilson- All right. <walks up to a crouched 4dap>
Stand. <4dap stands> Repeat after me. This world is made...
4dap- <saying in a scared voice> This world...
Wilson- <yelling> This world is made of! Haha. This world is made of love and peace!
Sage- What the f**k are you talking about?
Raptor- Yeah. I thought you were going to, you know, hit him or something.
Wilson- Dude, I’m a lover not a fighter.
Sage- You were the one being a gangster and rapping about killing people. What about that.
Raptor- Yeah. Love and peace. We’re in the army, sometimes we kill people or aliens. You should want to be like me.
Sage- Uh, sir. You haven’t killed anybody yet. Remember?
Raptor- <sniffing> Shut up. Let’s go home dirt bags.
Announcer- Hold on a minute! <thingys his shotgun> Who’s gonna pay for all of this damage?
<Yoshi comes up behind announcer with his gun to his head>
Yoshi- We could pay it by letting you keep your life. Oh wait! Maybe you could be on our team. We could call you-
Wilson- What about Fodap?
Yoshi- Oh yeah. He could be on our team too. That would make us like a squad that could raid that red base and finally take that flag. Or we could just have a party and go on quests. Or maybe-
Announcer- As long as I don’t die I don’t care what you do.
Yoshi- All right. Hey Raptor can we keep them?
Sage- They’re not freakin’ dogs!
Wilson- Well I don’t know about Fodap. We could use him as bait and then go in and do our business. Easy as cake!
Fodap- Hell no! I’m nobody’s dog!
<Wilson shoots past his head>
Wilson- Sit!
<Fodap crouches>
Raptor- Let’s get out of here before more people come out and try and kill us. And by us I mean Wilson.
Wilson- Me? Your the one that killed Fodap’s gang. <show bodies> Your just scarred.
Raptor- No. I just had enough ass-kicking for one day.
Yoshi- Yes! We get to keep them. Now I’m so happy.
<screen goes dark for credits>
Sage- What did I just tell you! They’re not freakin’ dogs!
Fodap- Yeah!
<Wilson shoots past his head>
Wilson- Shut up!
<Fodap whines>
Good boy. Now heres a treat.
Fodap- Huh?
<Wilson knocks him out>
Raptor- See, I knew you had it in you.
Wilson- Yeah. I showed you up B! <hits him again> <END>

[The Machine]

wow. i have not played the game. sorry.

[kakashi]

Here's Episode Two. I'm going to try and write an episode once a week. Enjoy

Episode Two
Locked Out

Setting- Lockout

Yoshi- Sit!
<Fodap and Announcer crouch>
Good boys.
Wilson- Okay. We’ll keep you up here until we figure out what we are goin’ to do with you. And don’t jump off ‘cause them I’m goin’ ti have to clean you up.
Announcer- It’s cold out here!
Wilson- Sounds like a personal problem to me. Yoshi let’s go.
Yoshi- All right . Stay!
<Fodap and Announcer look at each other>
<stalking slowly>
We’re going to be inside the base. If you need something just yell. Got it?
Fodap- We’re not stupid. Just go before I kill you.
Yoshi- Nice puppy.
<walks away>
Fodap- Dumb ass.
Announcer- Those guys are in the army? I guess earth is desperate to let in people like them.
<sniper bullet whizzes past his head>

Setting- Waterworks

Raptor- Come here. <Looking at the wall>
The reds wrote something on the wall. <reading()>
(Come to the city for the challenge of the century. No flags and no f*gs, excluding Starky. Be there or be a blue square.) What do you think? You wanna come?
Sage- Hell yeah. I’d like to embarrass the reds any way I possibly can!
Wilson- Fo shizzle.
Yoshi- Oh! Can we bring Lucky and Yoshi Jr.
Raptor- Who?
Wilson- <sigh> He named Fodap and that other guy on the way over here.
Raptor- Do they know that you named him?
Sage- Do you think he would be here if they did?
Raptor- Good point. I suppose we could take them. It can’t be that bad plus the reds could get scarred since we will have more people.
Yoshi- ROAD TRIP!
Sage- I am NOT riding with him!

Setting- Zannzibar on the beach
Yoshi- Are we there yet?

Setting- Burning Plains
Yoshi- Are we there yet? Hey a cow skull!
Setting- Turf

Yoshi- Are we there-
Raptor- We’re here!
Yoshi- Wohoo!
<looking at the double doors>
<Raptor walks up to them>
Raptor- They’re locked!
Wilson- Those bastards! Invited us over and then lock us out.
Raptor- Search the perimeters for a win in!
<Sage walks to a crashed scarab ship>
Sage- What the hell is this?
<Yoshi walks up behind Sage>
Yoshi- Cool!
<Sage turns around>
Sage- What the- Yoshi I thought that you were watching your dogs.
Yoshi- I let Wilson look after them.
<Wilson walks up>
Wilson- Hey guys. Whoa! What the hell is that?
Sage- Wilson! I thought you were watching his pets!
Yoshi- Yeah.
Wilson- Hell no. I gave them to Raptor to watch over. I’m sure they have gotten their asses kicked by now.
Raptor- Hey g- Whoa. What the hell is that?
Yoshi- Where are my puppies?
Raptor- Oh, they’re ,uh, sleeping next to the jeep. They’re fine. <whispers> Mostly.
Yoshi- Sleepyheads.
Raptor- Yeah. Did anyone else find something besides me and the space ship?
Wilson- Nope.
Raptor- No
Yoshi- I found a soda can!
Sage- Yoshi. Why don’t you go take care of the guys.
<Yoshi walks away>
Wilson- You knocked them out? What did they do this time?
Raptor- They started rapping about how stupid Yoshi is and how much of a wise-ass Sage is.
Sage- Why did you actually knock them out?
Raptor- Are you implying that they said something about me? As a mater of fact they are scarred of me so they were nice. They stated to talk in some kind of code. Something about spinners on his jeep and they said skeet a lot. I got tired of it so I knocked them out.
Yoshi- <yelling> They’re gone!
<everybody runs to Yoshi>
All that’s left is blood splattered on the ground.
<Sage and Wilson look at Raptor>
Raptor- I didn’t do that. They weren’t bleeding when I left them here.
Wilson- Maybe it was the reds.
Yoshi- Why would they kill my precious little puppies?
Wilson- Good question.
<Aliens point of view>
Sage- Maybe it was something that came from the ship that we found. <whispers> An alien.
Raptor- Oooo. Aliens. Was it an alien that put a whoopie cushion in my seat after we filled the tank. If there was an alien I would kick his-
<alien melee attacks Raptor>
Get this stupid thing off of me! <alien continuing to attack>
Yoshi- He’s so cute! I’m glad you killed my puppies because I like you better. Let’s keep him.
Wilson- Sage, get Yoshi’s tranquilizer gun.
<Sage shoots the alien>
<Raptor gets up>
Raptor- Tranquilizers. You should have killed the bastard.
Sage- Wait a minute. The gun didn’t have tranquilizers in it!
Yoshi- Oh no!
Sage- Crayons!?!
Raptor- What? Where the hell did you get an idea like that?
Yoshi- Oh yeah. When we went to go visit that other blue team I went with one of the guys and he showed me how to keep my crayons safe from everybody. Plus it is a good way to make splatter art.
Raptor- Yeah and I went with their Sergeant to talk about how stupid all you guys are.
Sage- How come me and Wilson were not invited?
Raptor- Wilson was practicing for his rap battle and you were going around the base with your Master Chief armor.
Wilson- That was only two days ago! I lost the car any ways so you could’ve asked me.
Sage- Yeah, and I could’ve came because all I was doing was bossing people around and getting cake from people. On second thought, I probably would have stayed any ways.
Yoshi- <talking to the alien> Aren’t you cute. What shall we name you?
Alien- Blargh.
Yoshi- Blargh? That’s a funny name, I was thinking something like Fluffy or Spot.
Alien- Blargh.
Sage- Do you even know what he is saying?
Yoshi- Of course! He said he would like to have a normal name.
Wilson- You got that from “Blargh”?
Yoshi- He either said that or that he would like a root beer. I have a hard time with the accent.
WIlson- Are you serious? You can actually understand him?
Alien- Blargh blargh honk blargh.
Yoshi- He said that the only reason that I can understand him is because he likes me and he put a translator in my brain telepathically.
Raptor- He doesn’t like me?
Sage- Obviously, he freaking attacked you.
Raptor- Whatever. Yoshi, take him with you. He could be helpful for fighting against the reds.
Alien- Blargh blargh.
Yoshi- He says that he knows how to get inside.
<alien walks away followed by Yoshi>
Raptor- Well, I don’t know about you but I’m findin’ my own way.
<walks in front of the double doors>
Look at these grenades I found. They can stick to some things when you throw them. Plus they’re shinny. I’m going to blow this door open.
<Yoshi’s goes through the doors as Raptor throws the grenade>
Yoshi- Pretty.
Alien- Blargh!
Yoshi- Ahhh! <yells and runs away and grenade blows up>
Hlavinka- What the hell!?! We have a freaking door on the side!
Raptor- Why was this door locked?
Starky- So you wouldn’t drive in and try to blow us up!
Raptor- You know me well.
Starky- Yeah right.
Wilson- Why did you call us here?
Hlavinka- To show you this. <looks at the alien>
Yoshi- Hey! He’s mine!
Hlavinka- Who is that?
Raptor- Oh right. That’s Yoshi, the dumb ass of our team. <looks at Wilson> That’s Wilson, he’s the gangster rapper wanna be that is a lover, not a fighter. <looks at Sage> And that’s Sage, the smart-ass of our team. Last but not last me! Im the ass-kickin’, rough ridin’ Raptor. We are the blue team!
Hlavinka- Right. I’m the only smart one on this team, Hlavinka. <looks at Starky> That’s the f*g I told you about in the note, Starky. And the other two are somewhere in the city. Go reds!
<screen goes dark for credits>
Alien- Blargh!
Yoshi- Oh yeah, this is my pet alien. We haven’t named him yet but I think I will call him Blargh until the right name comes around.
Wilson- We should call him Stink bait. He smells like crap!
<Blargh attacks Wilson>
Ahh, get this stupid thing off me!
Sage- Sounds like Raptor.
Raptor- Shut up dirt bag.
<Blargh is still hitting Wilson>
Sage- Beware of Blargh the alien, nickname Alien Ass-kicker!
Blargh- Blargh
Wilson- Ow, you freakin’, oh I’m knocked out.
<END>

[Celegal]

That was really hilarious. Just a tip, though. Be a bit carefulabout the cussing, cause I want to make this a family-friendly site. Otherwise, a great story! ;D I loved Blargh.

[kakashi]

Ok I'll do my best. If not I'll have Hawkeye edit it later when She put's up the next episode.

[Hawkeye]

yeah what ever. I'll have the next ep. up when it's ready. Other than that I'll just hang around here. At least untill I get bored.

[The Machine]

yah, please drop the cussign, we have little kids on here. plus some of the parents are on here sometimes.

[Hawkeye]

Here is a special episode for every one to enjoy. I hope ya'll like it cause this is the first time I've seen it.

Special Episode
The American Language

Setting- Turf

Hlavinka- The man in charge says that we have to clean our language a bit. But I say screw him.
Everybody- YEAH!!!
Hlavinka- Not all of what we say is bad.
Yoshi- Except for poop. Oops I just said it. I’m a sinner.
Hlavinka- Yeah, any ways words like @$$ and f*g can mean many different things. @$$ can mean a stubborn donkey, an idiot, or a butt.
Raptor- Like how my mom likes to sit on hers all day and complains about me not getting fresh air, notice how there were two @$$es in that sentence. I want to kill her.
<everybody stares at Raptor>
Sorry.
Hlavinka- f*g is a British word that means a cigarette and a f*g**t is someone who means a person who smokes. It can also mean a bundle of sticks. America has decided to make it mean a person who is gay, like Starky.
Starky- Somebody wants their idiot kicked by a cigarette
Hlavinka- .Words like s#!+ can mean the same as crap, but is in a form that is more extreme. The same with f***, as long as when it is written it should have asterisks with some letters.
Raptor- Plus this is the military. We say stuff like that when we get surprised and in combat. We put our butt on the line so you can be safe, so we deserve the right to say anything we want. So if you still think it is bad, you can go to hell.
Hlavinka- Which isn’t a bad word since it is a location.
Starky- Like Hell, Minnesota.
Rosati- Like the underworld you stupid donkey stick!
Sage- And that concludes the special about the human American language, see ya’ll next week.
Hobbes- BL**** B***** BLA*** H*** BL**** H***!!!
Wilson- What he said but in English.
Sage- How do you know what he said.
Wilson- It’s obvious, this episode is talking about the words in the American language.
Yoshi- Sinner.
Hlavinka- ‘Cause knowing is half the battle.
<everybody jumps up>
Everybody- YEAH!!!

[Hawkeye]

Any ways I hoped ya'll like it. I found it amusing in some ways. I don't take complains about eps. so if you want to just pm. Kakashi he'll take care of everything. Anyways I'm editing the next ep. to make sure the's no cusing, and if there is I'll just put in asteriks.
(please ignore my spelling I can't spell to save my life)

[The Machine]

i know how you feel! altough the more i read, the better i get.

[Hawkeye]

Episode 3
A Little Switcharoo

Setting- Turf

Hlavinka- We are gathered here today to bind these two in holy matrimony. To bind the reds <camera pans to the red team> and the blues <shows the blue team> in the games that have been going on for seven hundred years. Let us begin the Red versus Blue Games. Sound the trumpets, let loose the doves.
Rosati- Sir, you melted our trumpets into bullets and killed the doves with them. Then you started shooting at me because you ran out of doves.
Raptor- That’s okay, I would have shot at them when you let them loose.
Sage- Wait! Games? How come we never heard of these games?
Raptor- Probably because we came to the future with that one dilly-bobber.
Wilson- It’s called a time machine.
Raptor- Don’t tell me what it’s called, I can call it whatever I want. If you don’t like it then you can just sit out of the games.
Wilson- <sarcastically> Oh no, I can’t compete in the games. Please can I play? I want to beat the reds any way I can. <realizing what he is saying> Wait! Never mind I do want to play!
Raptor- I don’t know if you would help that much any ways.
Wilson- What!?! I play games all the time. Even that one where you shoot aliens while your on a ring that destroys planets. I don’t remember what it’s called but I beat it on the hardest mode. The best seventy three hours of my life. Don’t even get me started about the multiplayer.
Sage- You weren’t the best one so shut up.
Wilson- Oh yeah I was. My alias was ThoraxeTheImpaler. I got the name off a tv show.
Sage- Do you remember SephirothKiller01?
<Wilson staring at Sage>
Wilson-You were SephirothKiller01? How did you beat me. I remember the score was tied at twenty-four and you were on the other side of the map and the next thing I knew I was dead. Wait wasn’t there a glitch that-
Raptor- Shut up! That was a long time ago!
Yoshi- Plus 800 years. I went and added it on the ground.
<The ground has NOW - THEN = 800 written in crayons>
I’m such a math whiz.
Alien- Blargh.
Yoshi- <to Alien> Okay. The alien wants to know if he can play in the games too.
Hlavinka- I suppose he could since he is on the blue team.
Yoshi- Oh, I just came up with the perfect name. Calvin, no Fluffy, no wait! <looks at the alien and talks proudly> Hobbes.
Sage- What kind of name is that? Hobbes?
Yoshi- It was a name of this cute tiger. I bought a tiger that looked just like it. Plus Hobbes sounds kind of cool. <talking slowly> Haaaa-bssss. <fast> Hobbes.
Sage- Whatever.

Raptor- Can we focus on the games for fifteen minutes? I want to learn how to do this red mortifying thing without the learning.
Hlavinka- Okay. There will be seven gruesome trials that will be done to prove who is better, the reds or the blues. But we know who is better.
Raptor- <with his gun pointed to Hlavinka’s head> You don’t even want to finish that sentence.
Rosati- Actually the blues won the last time so, don’t shoot.
Raptor- <lowers his gun> Sorry ‘bout that.
Hlavinka- The first game will be-

<cuts to Foundation>

<announcer voice>
CHOREOGRAPHY CONTEST!!!
Wilson- You...have got...to be KIDDING ME!
Rosati- For real for real?
Hlavinka- For real for real.
Sage- Who the hell picked that?
Hobbes- Blargh!
<everybody looks at Starky>
Starky- Hey, quit being stereotypical. I didn’t choose to have this! We drew cards out of a spinning thing so quit that before you get killed by a gay person.
Hobbes- <whispers> Blargh.
<Yoshi giggles>
Starky- Hey you too. I don’t want this crap or everyone is going to get it.
<everyone giggles>
Just get this thing over with.
Hlavinka- Now that that is over with, each team will have one hour to come up with a song and a dance to go with it. The one who has the best dance wins. The per-
Wilson- How do we know who will win fairly?
Hlavinka- I WAS GETTING TO THAT! God. The person who will be judging this will be...
<camera cut to a man in red and yellow armor>
Yoshi- Callahan?
Callahan- Yoshi?
<Raptor and Hlavinka point their guns at Callahan>
Raptor and Hlavinka- Next.
<both shoot Callahan>
<Everybody looks at them>
Raptor- We want this to be fair.
Hlavinka- So anybody who knows any of us will not be able to judge. Also anybody who favors the color blue over red.
Raptor- Or red over blue.
<everybody is still staring>
Hlavinka- It’s okay, we used shockers.
Raptor-<whispering to Yoshi>
Yoshi, you and that alien take that body away and get me my other gun.
Yoshi- Which one?
Raptor- The one with the shockers in it.
Yoshi- What did you just-
Raptor- Shhh. Just hurry.
Yoshi- Okay.
<starts to walk away>
Starky- Where are you going?
<Yoshi looks at Raptor>
Yoshi- The, um, bathroom? Yeah. I’m taking Hobbes to show him the bathroom. Come on Hobbes.
Hobbes- Blargh.
<they walk away>
Sage- Do I even want to know?
Raptor- If you did know, they will have to carry you off too.
Hlavinka- Too?
Raptor- Quit changing the subject. When do we start this stupid contest?
Hlavinka- We have an hour starting...<looking at a clock>...Half an hour ago.
Starky- What are you talking about! The teams aren’t even even! They have two more people.
Wilson- I think the alien won’t be in this one, so we just have one more than you.
Raptor- You mean one less. What good are you?
Wilson- I’ll be the one rapping. Unless you want to sing something.
Raptor- <sighing> That’s okay. You better not mess this up.
Wilson- I already made up a rap in my head.
Hlavinka- I wonder who is going to be on our team.
Rosati- I don’t think I want to know.
Brooks- Howdy ya’ll.
Rosati- A freaking cowboy! d**n this is going to be interesting.
<Blue team started laughing>
Yeah keep laughing, because for this round we decided to replace Yoshi with someone else.
Raptor- What are you talking about? We didn’t do anything wrong.
Rosati- You did. You shot Callahan and freakin’ killed him!
Yoshi- <comes running in with Hobbes> Took care of Callahan for ya boss.
Rosati- See!
Hobbes- Blargh blargh.
Yoshi- Oh yeah. We took Callahan to the bathroom with us.
Hlavinka- We know Yoshi.
Yoshi- You know that alien poop is always purple?
Starky- No, about Callahan.
Yoshi- That’s he is just sleeping in room one?
Hlavinka- What?
<they walk to room one upstairs>
Well what do you know.
Callahan- <groans> Where...where am I? I thought I was dead. The last thing I remember-
Raptor- <yelling> SORRY OKAY!!!
Sage- So since we really didn’t hurt him then they can Yoshi and the alien can stay in right?
Rosati- Yeah, I guess so.
Hlavinka- Holy crap.
Starky- What?
<Krammer walks in>
Krammer- Guten tag! Ich heisse Johannes Krammer. <Good day! My name is Johnny Krammer.>
Hlavinka- What! We got some German dude! Rosati I thought you called the American base!
Rosati- Well the guy who answered the phone said “Hallo” so I just told him to send a person to the game location and then hung up.
Hlavinka- Didn’t you notice he said Hallo instead of Hello?
Rosati- Well I thought he was like Yoshi, kind of special.
Yoshi- <gasping> That’s not true.
Rosati- Well whatever you are.
Yoshi- No, Hobbes just told me that he saw someone like him that attacked one of his homes.
Krammer- Was? Das is stimt nicht! <What? That’s not true!>
Raptor- Can you speak english?
Krammer- Ich weiss nicht? Ich bin verstopf und kann nicht denke jetzt. <I don’t know. I’m constipated and can’t think now.>
Wilson- Verstopf? Du sollst ein Exlax nehmen. <Constipated? You should take an Exlax.>
Krammer- Nein, ich bin allergisch. <No, I am allergic.>
Raptor- You can speak German?
Wilson- Took it for four years in high school, Herr Bloed.
Raptor- Good, ‘cause your translating for us.
Hlavinka- Okay, well let’s get started on the competition. Reds lets pick some music.
Krammer- Mambo bei Herbert Groenemeyer. <Mambo by Herbert Groenemeyer>
Wilson- Good choice Krammer, but I am going to make my own rap.
Yoshi- My name is Yoshi
And my snake is Toshi
We were watchin’ Dragon Ball and saw old man Roshi.
Wilson- Yoshi, that’s my area.
Krammer- Ist er geistigbehindert? <Is he mentally retarded?>
Wilson- Ja, er isst roh Ziege jeden abend. Yoshi denkt er ist La Chupracabra. <Yes, he eats raw goat every night. Yoshi thinks he is La Chupracabra.>
<screen goes dark for credits>
Yoshi- Beware of La Chupracabra. <growls> Beware of my goat eating powers. Arrrr!
Krammer- Er ist verrueckt! <He is crazy!>
Wilson- Yes, this is my team.
Raptor- What did he say?
Wilson- He said that Yoshi is crazy.
Rosati- I agree and I don’t even know the guy.
Yoshi- No Yoshi, just me. <growls> La Chupracabra!
Sage- Do you even know what that is?
<Yoshi growls and then bites Sage>
Ow! What the hell is wrong with you!?!
Yoshi- Now you will become a Were-cabra.
Sage- These games are going to be long.
Yoshi- On the full moon you will become like me.
Hlavinka- There is no moon over here is there?
Starky- Uh, oh there’s one.
Raptor- Man, let’s just get this thing started.
<pause>
Well, I guess we can wait till later.

Comment: If you don’t like this episode as much it is because I got distracted with Kingdom Hearts. I finished this with a deadline that didn’t seem that close. This will be the start of Waterworks Wednesdays (after the location of these two teams bases). Anyway, file your complaints and send some suggestions for future episodes and maybe I will take some. I hope you enjoy my machinema and maybe I will produce a rough draft of the machinema and put it on a website.
P.S.
Are you happy? You know who you are.
P.P.S
No Spartans were harmed in the writting of this script.
P.P.P.S.
Also no La Chupracabras or Were-cabras were harmed.
P.P.P.P.S.
I’m done.

[gymnast]

I agree with Belkin, watch the cussing, please. Other than that it was pretty good.

[Hawkeye]

Apparently you haven't read the special ep. yet. Trust me you'll enjoy it.

[The Machine]

so, are you useing the people from Helo.

[The Machine]

so, are you useing the people from Halo.

[kakashi]

yeah, that's what makes it a machinima.

[Hawkeye]

Anyways we have a slight problem with the scripts. As you know we will start Waterworks Wednesdays which has one ep. up evey Wed. Well we might have to push back the date to every other Wednesday do to technical difficulties (other than my spelling) that include my computer. The bottom line thoughs who are exspecting an ep. tomarrow your not getting one. Oh, thats if you care or like the Wterworks Chronicals. Have a great day, see you tommarrow.

[Hawkeye]

No more complaining about the cussing, it has been taken care of (mostly).

[Hawkeye]

Anyways I'm no longer coming to this board cause I found a cooler place. I will no longer be posting episodes here. That will be left to Kakashi. Thaks for reading and goodbye.

[The Machine]

Fine! leave and never come back!! we dont give a care! forget you!

[kakashi]

Episode 4
The Ups and Downs of Being Blue


Setting- Foundation

Raptor- Why did I choose to be in this.
Sage- Now that I think about it, I didn’t get my say in this did I?
Raptor- Too bad, so sad, if you don’t want to do it, date that fa, guh.
Starky- Is it me or is everyone going after me all of a sudden.
Rosati- You would like that would-
<Starky points his gun at Rosati>
I’m done.
Hlavinka- Okay, let’s get it started. We drew cards and the blue team will start this stupid
competition.
Krammer- Wunderban! <Wonderful!>
Rosati- This will be good. We can tell them after they perform their routine.
Starky- Man, will they be pissed.
Krammer- Ja. <Yes.>
Sage- About what?
Hlavinka- Nothing. Just get to gettin’.
Raptor- d**n! This sucks!
Krammer- Ja, fuer dich! <Yes, for you!>
WIlson- What is that suppose to mean?
Hlavinka- Nothing, just start already.
<Yoshi starts beat boxing>
<Camera is on Wilson>
Wilson- I’m on the team that’s blue
And I’m bustin’ flows for you.
In deiner freizeit, was machst du?
My team has Ompa Loompas
Now watch them dance for you.
<camera cuts to the other blues>
Raptor- How did he get me into this?
Sage- <sighs> Just do the stupid dance.
<lined up Raptor, Sage, Yoshi, then Wilson>
<Raptor and Yoshi crouch down then stands while the others crouch and continues>
Wilson- Oompa Loompa Doompa la Sea
I see the red team laughin’ at me
Oompa Loompa Doompa de Doo
We’ll free Hobbes and will dance all on you.
<Hobbes comes in spinning>
Hobbes- Blargh Honk Honk.
Hlavinka- Okay you can stop now.
<All of the reds are laughing>
My team voted not to do this one and since you did it, you win. Was it worth it though?
Raptor- Hell no! That was the stupidest, most retarted thing I have ever done.
Sage- We made the dance up in two minutes.
Wilson- And I just made up the rap. But we won so it doesn’t matter.
Raptor- Yeah, but it was still stupid though.
Rosati- Do you know what time it is?
Yoshi- Nap time?
Everybody Else- SPRING BREAK!!!
Yoshi- Spring Break! Wohoo!
Sage- Where we going, Sarge?
Raptor- Why are you asking me? You guys can think for yourself.
<looks at Yoshi> Who’s going to think for him.
Wilson- That alien could do that for him. They seem unseperable.
Sage- Yeah, it’s kind of sick. Do you think that the alien has any diseases that we could catch?
Raptor- Out of all of the alien movies I have seen, aliens are either really clean, really dirty and disgusting, or really stupid.
<Yoshi off-screen>
Yoshi- Here Hobbes, want some more of my ice cream.
Hobbes- Blargh!
Sage- I think Yoshi will be the first of us to die.
Raptor and Wilson- Yep.
Hlavinka- Okay, it’s the start of spring break tomorrow and I was wondering if you guys-
Brooks- Ya’ll
Hlavinka- If YA’LL, wanted to go to the beach.
Rosati- Hell yeah! Back at the Waterworks outpost it’s all dark and damp, with that crushing thing.
Starky- What is that for anyways?
Krammer- Wo ist Waterworks? <Where is Waterworks?>
Hlavinka- Waterworks is our base Krammer. We need to get a translater for his armor.
Brooks- I’m getting a logo on my armor.
Rosati- Me to. I might get something like a Cobra or a Hawk. Yeah. Cool.
Starky- We need to find some aliens like Hobbes and get them on our team. We might win then.
Brooks- I could wrangle some for us.
Hlavinka- Where would we find them?
<looks at Hobbes>
Maybe the idiot can ask Hobbes where his family is at.
Starky- That wouldn’t be right!
Krammer- Ja!
Rosati- Oh shut up.
Hlavinka- We first need to get rid of the other blues. Starting with Raptor. He was a part of the Super Spartan Team that started ten years ago. <camera on him> He plays dumb sometimes but maybe he’s in denial.
Starky- Your not actually goin’ to kill him are you?
Hlavinka- I don’t know about that yet. Who is going to contribute to the fall of the blues?
Rosati- I will.
Krammer- Nein. <No.>
Starky- Hell no.
Brooks- Hells yes.
Rosati- I have nothing better to do on spring break but watch old reruns on G4tv.
Hlavinka- Three against four Spartans and an alien. This is going to be fun.
Starky- Maybe one of you will die.
Hlavinka- It’s not going to be me. I was part of the Super Spartan Team too.
Starky- Just get out of here. I’m going to take Krammer here to get new armor.
Brooks- Why don’t you trade him for some American?
Starky- He’s the only one I have seen that is representing Deutschland, mann.
Hlavinka- Later.
<Hlavinka, Brooks, and Rosati leave.>
Starky- I should have known that he would turn crazy again.
Krammer-Wer ist verruckt? <Who is crazy?>
Starky- Yes, Hlavinka is crazy.
Wilson- Hlavinka is crazy?
Raptor- He’s just jealous that I was better at my job than him. I didn’t even want the stupid job.
Sage- What is he going to do?
Raptor- Nothing, he’s just going to try and kill us. Just watch your backs and you’ll be fine. He was lousy at being a sneaky person. No one here is going to die.
Sage- Can we just get to the base? I want to try and break the jeep by trying to do tricks.
Yoshi- And I wanted to show Hobbes the great pounder in the center of the cave.
Wilson- Looks like this spring break is going to suck like all of the other ones. Er, at least Yoshi might die.
<screen goes dark for credits>
Yoshi- Is someone coming for me?
Sage- Yeah the Boogey Man.
Hobbes- Blargh Honk Honk Blargh.
Yoshi- Hobbes says that he will protect me while he lets you all die.
Sage- I can protect myself. I don’t need a stinky alien.
Hlavinka- Oh yes you do.
Sage- Hlavinka? On no.
<END>

Yes it is short and maybe it sucks but I wanted to move on to another point in the story where Hlavinka goes crazy and tries to kill everyone. Next time someone may die, but will it be who you think it is? Probably not.

[NoMansLand]

does any one not understand this besides me??? cause i dont get it.

[The Machine]

it would help if you played the game, and read the others up top.

[NoMansLand]

well idont waste my time playing games. i read instead

[The Machine]

i do to you know.

[kakashi]

Red vs Blue
The Waterworks Chronicles
Written by Brian Montoya
Episode 5: Back to Alpha

Setting- Waterworks

Yoshi- And we went camping, then we went to the woods, then we went camping in the woods.

Sage- Yoshi?

Yoshi- Yeah?

Sage- What are you babbling about now?

Yoshi- What I did for spring break! What do you think I was talking about?

Sage- You being in your fantasy world or some other stupid thing.

Yoshi- Yeah, I saw a deer. It was so cool! You should have seen how many horns it had!
<Raptor walks in with Wilson>

Raptor- What are you girls talking about?

Yoshi- I saw a deer in the woods!

Wilson- What the hell are you talking about? We’re on a planet millions of miles away from earth.
<frustrated> Why did we have to get him?
<to the sky> WHY GOD!!! WHY!!!

Rosati- God dammit Wilson, shut the hell up.
<Rosati, Starky, Brooks, and Krammer walk in>
We could here you all the way at our base.

Starky- Shouldn’t we be looking for Hlavinka? He is going to try and kill some of us won’t he?

Raptor- No, he’ll find us eventually. He was one of the elite Spartans of the force.

Wilson- What are you talking about? I have never heard of this force of Super Spartans.

Rosati- Me neither.

Raptor- That’s because it was a secret until I told you guys about it. <to himself> I have got to learn how to think before I speak.

Sage- So were you like the splinter cells I have read about?
Wilson- And played games about!

Raptor- Some would be spies and others would be commanders of tactics squads and other things like that.
<flashback>
<voice over>
I was there when we first formed the group.
<shows spartans standing around talking>

Hlavinka- <yelling> Wohoo! I can’t believe I am a part of the Super Spartan team. Those guys owe me a million dollars.

Raptor- Holy crap! That guy passed the entrance tests?

Spartan 311- You know this crazy ass psycho?

Raptor- Sadly, yes. We went to boot camp together and I was bunked with him. The absolute worst month of my life. Thirty days have been lost and I can never get them back.

<Hlavinka spots Raptor>

Hlavinka- Hey roomy!

Raptor- <looking down>
Hey dipstick.

Hlavinka- <laughs> That was my nick name at the camp.

<spartans laugh>

Raptor- So how did you make it here?

Hlavinka- I don’t know. How ‘bout you? I’m surprised you made it too.

Raptor- I was only ranked FIRST in the camp you freakin’ moron!

Hlavinka- Hostile. Any ways, this will be fun don’t you think?

<Lieutenant Stalin enters the room>

Stalin- All right ladies, quit girl thingyfooting around and bring me five alien heads on a silver platter by 16:00 or you will be sent home with the mark of shame on your armor. GET GOIN’!

Hlavinka- <to Raptor> Hey partner, wanna make a team with you and me. We could go to the-

Raptor- SHUT UP AND GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKIN’ LOSER! YOU COULDN’T EVEN HIT THE SIDE OF A BUICK IF YOU STANDING TWO FEET FROM IT! YOUR ANNOYING AS HELL AND IF YOU WANT TO LIVE STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!

<long pause>

Hlavinka- Soooo, will you be my partner?

Stalin- You there talking, come here.

<Hlavinka walks over to Stalin>

If you are going to ever pass this test we’re going to have to dehumanize you? Is that okay? You do want to be part of this team don’t you?

Hlavinka- Yeah of course I do. Let’s do that de-humilization thing.

<back to the present>

Raptor- So they did that dehumanization process and he passed the test with flying colors. Luckily during the process they left him during a hypnotizing session and I snuck in and told him to forget about me.

Starky- So why is he crazy.

Raptor- During his first mission he got shot at and broke down. They captured and tortured him then released him into the wild. He was then picked up by a pack of wolves in a sled and they took him to the booby house. He was released after a year of treatment and is
now here trying to kill us.

Sage- How do we get him then. Do we set a trap?

Hobbes- Blargh blargh honk.

Yoshi- Hmm? Hobbes says that he can kill him for us.

Brooks- Or I could hog-tie him and we could get a bull whip and beat him.

Krammer- Das ist wie er verruckt gebekomen.
<That is how he became crazy>

Raptor- I thought you were suppose to get a translator in his armor?

Starky- Hello, we just came from spring break. Man those Battle Creek guys know how to throw a party.

Wilson- Should we break into teams?

Raptor- Exactly what I was going to suggest. Two man teams will spread out and set their own kinds of traps. Um... <looking at Yoshi and Hobbes> You two can go together.

Yoshi- Yes. Hobbes and I will foil the evil Darth Hlavninka once and for all.

Hobbes- Blargh blargh.

Raptor- Wilson, since you are the only one who can understand the lederhosen wearin’ foreigner, your with Krammer.

Wilson- Sounds good to me. Maybe we can listen to German Dream.

Raptor- Since you can tolerate the ostrich boot wearing neat wrangler, Sage, your with Brooks.

Brooks- Yehaw. Sage, we’ll catch that looney man for sure.

Rosati- I’m assuming your going to be by yourself.

Raptor- You got that right. You pansies would just slow me down. I worked by myself any ways, unless you count working with the element of surprise.

Starky- How lame. What about when one of us is in trouble.

Raptor- It’s called a radio genius. Yoshi and Hobbes will be team stupid and alien, or stallion. Wilson and Krammer will be the virtually duped unser bunch, or VDub. Sage and Brooks will be team troubled wranglers, and Rosati and Starky will be team thorny fruit.

Starky- And what will you be? Stonewall? Fisher? Or will you just be Raptor since you got lucky enough that we have an odd number of men.

Raptor- Well since I am number one, I will be team alpha.

Sage- Why do you get alpha and we got stuck with troubled wranglers.

Raptor- Weren’t you paying attention? I was naming each team after their traits. Since you seem to be a magnet for trouble, you get that name. As for me, I was part of the SS alpha team. Face!
Sage- Whatever, Brooks let’s get going.
<Brooks nods his head and they walk away>

Yoshi- Yeah, we better get going too. Getting past go means we will collect 200 dollars and we could use it for-

<everybody is looking at Yoshi>

We’ll be going now. Let’s go Hobbes.

Hobbes- Blargh.

<Hobbes and Yoshi walk away>

Raptor- I have a bad feeling about this. I sense a disturbance in the-

<Brooks screams in pain>
<screen goes dark for credits>

Sage- <over radio> Hlavinka attacked come quick before he leaves. Brooks is down, repeat Brooks is down!

Raptor- d**n that was fast. Hlavinka knows about bad timing.

Sage- <over radio> Raptor stop talking to yourself and get over here already.

Raptor- Oh yeah, sorry ‘bout that. <END>

[Hawkeye]

Okay I lied. I'm back well here is a special ep I wrote myself enjoy.
Red vs Blue
The Waterworks Chronicals
By Heather Montoya
Special Episode
Happy Rabbit Hunting Day


Setting- Burial Mounds
<Sage, Wilson, Starky, Hobbes, and Wilson are standing around>

Sage: What the hell are we doing here?

Yoshi: We're looking for the Easter Bunny!

Wilon: But Easter's like three weeks away, I think.

Yoshi: I know, but he could be out right now.

Hlavinka: This is bull Sh*t, you told me Raptor wnted to see me.

Sage: <pointing to Yoshi> That's what this dumba$$ told us.

Hobbes: Blarge Honk Honk Blarge

Yoshi: Hobbes says he sees something. <excited> Yeah, it's the Easter Bunny!

Sage:No F*ck*ng way! <pulls out sniper rifle> This one's mine. <shoots>

Raptor: What the F*ck was that!?!

Starky: Sage I think you just shot Roptor.

Sgae: No sh*t sherlock.

Wilson: <backing up> I think we should start running, you know the fast kind.

Yoshi: Who do you think he's mad at?

Hlavinka: He'll kill the fastest one, so who wants to be the slowest.

Yoshi: I will! I will!

Wilson: Thanks for playing choose your own death see you when...

Sage: Just shut up and run!

<everyone runs away but Yoshi><Screen Goes Black>

Raptor: To bad you were the slowest. Prepare to meet Death himself.

Yoshi: Oh Crap!